So my OMSA mama said this to me a long time ago: you are getting bullied in your own house and you should not allow that. I kinda brushed it off and now im starting to realize what she exactly meant. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Like I basically need to grow a pair of balls and speak up for myself. But then I feel like its a lost battle whenever I do. Ughhh I am just frustrated and I really would like God to show me the right direction. I feel much better today after talking with my cuzzo about the past, present and future. I just love that girl because she understands me and the struggle of being a daughter of Jamaican parents. It's tough life. Lol.
♥ A.Erika ♥
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
fresh off my trip.
Holas. I haven't shared what's been going lately, partly because I have been holding back on some entries because I wasn't sure how to get my point across. But I have just decided, its my blog and I can what I want to say. So imma just sayyyyyy it...sayyyyy it *humming ne-yo*
I just got back from a 10 day trip to see the BF. What started off as a surprise weekend trip turned into a planned 10 day trip with my boobie. Still lowkey upset he ruined the surprise. The day was finally here and I got so nervous. After all, it had been 4 months since our last meeting. And even though we talk every day, its different seeing each other in person. Of course that nervousness wore off as soon as I saw him. :-) I had a good time being on campus with no obligations. It was so funny seeing ppl because they had no idea I was coming so the reaction was like I can't believe ur here or my favorite was what are u doing here. As if I wasn't allowed back. Oh the kicker was ppl didn't know me and the bf were dating so that response was priceless as well.
Now I told myself, I was gonna hold my tears until after he dropped me off. Ehhh not so much. I shed about 3...yes just 3 tears leaving troy. Then we pulled up to my uncles house. He gave me this look and the tears started again...flowing like a river. After I finally got myself together, we said our last 'see-you-laters' and he was off. The feeling of uncertainty of when I'll see him next is what hurts me everytime. This cross country relationship is tough but its soo worth it.
I've postponed my three sixty five project because I wasn't as committed as I should have been. So I'm starting fresh on the 23rd. Maybe the BF will help me with ideas since he's a budding photographer.
I have decided to stay at my internship until I find a full time. Rather than just chill and wait, I might as well keep up my skills and continue to network. They even offered to help me with my web portfolio so I want to take advantage of that resource while its available. I might have an opportunity with Americorps. A new friend I met at the career fair I went to back in october has been really supportive and shared this opportunity with me. So I'm praying that this comes through because it will help jump start my philanthropic socialite lifestyle.
And that life thus far. I have more to write but i need sleep.
♥ A.Erika ♥
I just got back from a 10 day trip to see the BF. What started off as a surprise weekend trip turned into a planned 10 day trip with my boobie. Still lowkey upset he ruined the surprise. The day was finally here and I got so nervous. After all, it had been 4 months since our last meeting. And even though we talk every day, its different seeing each other in person. Of course that nervousness wore off as soon as I saw him. :-) I had a good time being on campus with no obligations. It was so funny seeing ppl because they had no idea I was coming so the reaction was like I can't believe ur here or my favorite was what are u doing here. As if I wasn't allowed back. Oh the kicker was ppl didn't know me and the bf were dating so that response was priceless as well.
Now I told myself, I was gonna hold my tears until after he dropped me off. Ehhh not so much. I shed about 3...yes just 3 tears leaving troy. Then we pulled up to my uncles house. He gave me this look and the tears started again...flowing like a river. After I finally got myself together, we said our last 'see-you-laters' and he was off. The feeling of uncertainty of when I'll see him next is what hurts me everytime. This cross country relationship is tough but its soo worth it.
I've postponed my three sixty five project because I wasn't as committed as I should have been. So I'm starting fresh on the 23rd. Maybe the BF will help me with ideas since he's a budding photographer.
I have decided to stay at my internship until I find a full time. Rather than just chill and wait, I might as well keep up my skills and continue to network. They even offered to help me with my web portfolio so I want to take advantage of that resource while its available. I might have an opportunity with Americorps. A new friend I met at the career fair I went to back in october has been really supportive and shared this opportunity with me. So I'm praying that this comes through because it will help jump start my philanthropic socialite lifestyle.
And that life thus far. I have more to write but i need sleep.
♥ A.Erika ♥
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