Cultural Blending

Let me start off by saying my bad for slacking these past 2 days. It was a family focused weekend which kept me away from my computer and there's nothing wrong with that. We all need an impromptu break from technology. My family hosted John's family for a meeting of the minds to discuss wedding details. We've been holding off on jumping into wedding planning because we wanted both families to be on the same page. I believe that was accomplished this weekend. It was interesting to get a brief history lesson on the lineage of my soon-to-be husband's family. There was many similarities of between the Jamaican (my culture) customs and Ghanian (his culture) customs and the parents got to bond over that. We also discussed how each culture would be represented at the wedding. One of the most touching moments is when my fiance's dad thanked my parents for raising a wonderful soulmate for his son. My eyes welled up immediately. I was like woooooo this is TOO heavy because the way my emotions are set up..... LOL!

Now that we got this meeting out the way, we can dig into planning. We have 3 venues in mind and will be conducting visits in the next couple weeks. I hope to have a venue secured by late May. On top of that, we need to shoot our engagement photos so we can get the save-the-dates out by July. So there's much work to be done. But I promise to continue posting every day until the 40 days are up and of course continuing to post after that. I also promise to NOT to bomboard y'all with wedding planning stuff. I'm sure it will consume my life but I want to share much more than that. How was the weekend for y'all? 

♥ A.Erika ♥

Mind-shift: Me to Us

Before I got into my relationship, I was so focused on myself in every sense. Mentally, emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually. I wanted to get right for Mr. Right. I wanted to have it together before Mr. Right came into the picture. Travel a little bit, have my own place, etc. I had a plan, ok?! But when I got into this relationship I had to shift my plan from me to we. To us. At first, the shift was a little overwhelming because I was still forcing my plan but I realized that if I wanted an amazing relationship, I had to step back and evaluate what was important. I remember telling myself you can travel and have your own place but you can do that with him. Not to take away from women who want to work their plan, I just was presented with an opportunity to date a wonderful man before I could institute my plan. So if the man hasn't come, LIVE YOUR LIFE! Anyways, my plate was full and I remember on our first date, I told him that I'm so busy but I make time for what's important. Also, if he didn't want to be serious, then don't waste my time. In that same thought, I also felt like I wasn't ready for Mr. Right. I needed to handle some emotional baggage and felt like I couldn't do that with him there. But that's the beautiful thing about love. It covers insecurities and imperfections. We sat on the bathroom floor one late night as he reassured me that I don't have to be perfect, he just wants me to give my all. Hearing him say that, let me know of his expectations of me. To be honest, it was a big sigh of relief because he accepted me flaws and all. And that we were in this TOGETHER. So my mind shifted and it's been a blessing. 

♥ A.Erika ♥

Run Your Race

In the world of sharing on social media, it's easy to develop a sense of less than because you begin to compare yourself to what others post. Highlight reels vs behind the scenes. You see the trips, the new shoes, the *insert examples of good life* and you think your life sucks. Trust me we've all done it. The beauty of social media is that you are entitled to post whatever you want: good, bad, or indifferent. It has given everyone a platform even those who don't need one. Social media posts do not paint the entire picture. It's a snapshot. You have to remember your journey is your journey and their journey is theirs. There's no need to compare because honestly there is no comparison. Comparison is thief of joy. God created one of you so no need to try to be like someone. That person is already taken. I heard a pastor draw a parallel from running track to life. When runners begin a race, they are different lanes of the track. But once the race starts, the runners are focused on their lanes, you don't the runners looking beside them to see what the other runners are doing. If they do, they slow down. That's how life is. The moment you compare your life to someone else', your life loses its essence and beauty. It's not worth it. Someone is waiting on you and counting on you to fulfill your purpose. Don't waste your time comparing and losing sense of your purpose. You deserve better than that.

♥ A.Erika ♥

Superwoman Complex

I want to do it all and I want to have it all. But life doesn't work quite like that and quite frankly, no one can do it all AND have it all except Jesus. I want to help inspire change in people's lives, I want to be the philanthropic socialite my mission statement talks about, I want to be an awesome wife, I want to be phenomenal designer, much more. But I've learned that things happen in stages and through a process. I can't be frustrated where I am unless I am willing to change it. I'm learning to manage my expectations of what I can and can't do in a day. Slowly but surely I'm letting go of this superwoman complex and moving towards being complete and full.Or maybe I'm redefining the term superwoman.

♥ A.Erika ♥

2 Lifestyle Changes Caused By My Commute

I didn't really think about my commute what I got my offer for my current job. I was just so happy to get a full time opportunity in my field that it could've been in Timbuktu and I would've went. My commute is 1 hour, one way with no traffic. And I wish that was my life. Tuh. However because Atlanta traffic will never let be me great or anyone else for that matter, it takes sometimes 2 hours to get to work, that's one way. Sometimes I just look at people in their cars. I've noticed that people are CHARACTERS when they think no one is watching. And I'm the person to catch them too. I mean I have nothing else to do unless I decide to read like I saw one driver doing yesterday. Anyways, I've learned TWO changes I've made during my commute and would love to share.

•  One: I must spend time with God while I'm driving in the morning. Driving the same way for the last 1.5 years can cause you to go crazy. Trust me I've seen it. My day doesn't seem right if I haven't had a talk with God and listened to Auntie Joyce [Meyer]. Doing these 2 things has improved my spiritual walk and makes the time go by faster. Auntie Joyce and her nuggets have been life changing. I don't honk at people as much nor do I yell. I'm pretty sure my blood pressure has gone down because of that. It's truly a blessing to see my sanity is still in tact when I leave my house at 7:20 and don't get to work until 9a. 
• Two: My road rage is not rage anymore. It's peace. Road peace. Even my babes has noticed my calmed behavior. I've seen weapons pulled out on people, people getting out their cars and yelling at another car, people cutting others off...all because road rage. So because I value my life, I've decided to chill out on the honking and yelling. I just listen to my auntie Joyce or catch up with a friend or of course talk to the fiancé.

♥ A.Erika ♥ 

Lavender

Over the last year, I've become obsessed with the scent of lavender. Anything lavender scented, I stop and smell. When I get a whiff of the scent, it puts a smile on my face because it smells so heavenly! I bathe with lavender soap and I love how soothing it is. I recently stumbled upon Evergreen Valley Lavender Farm, a farm in Washington State full of lavender. I mean fields of lavender. The air must be soothing there. Their tag line: The allure of lavender is in the air and I want to be captured by the allure. Apparently brides can order dried lavender for their bouquets. So guess who will be ordering some? I already told babes we HAVE to visit!

♥ A.Erika ♥

today was a good day.

In the words of Ice Cube, today was a good day. Lolololol. My parents came to visit us at our church today and they had a wonderful experience! This is a big deal because my parents weren't too happy about me leaving their church to attend another one. I was slightly offended that they didn't trust my judgement to find a new church and start in a place with my then boyfriend but now fiance. But that's another post. We've been going to our new church for about 4 months and we decided to invite my parents to church with us. I know Mama Lindo was looking for something to complain about so I was praying that the experience would be exceptional! God showed up and showed OUT! Won't HE do it?!?! Babes and I were running late and couldn't get a break, catching nearly every red light. We thought it was the devil but it really was God setting up the experience. Once we finally got there, they were in conversation with a member of the welcome team. We moved downstairs and were escorted to the front of the sanctuary for seats. My parents were treated like VIP and I loved it. Praise and worship was phenomenal! I saw my dad moving and rocking like never before. The message was on point as usual. Then we went to the first time guest reception and they got a chance to speak with the main facilitators of our pre-marital class. My parents instantly connected with them because they were Jamaican.  But the words that our facilitators spoke...Can we say dynamic? My parents even gave their blessing for us attending the church. It was cute. I've learned that my parents think they NEED give approval for things now that I'm grown. And I'm learning that I don't need it. After that we treated my parents to brunch and they raved about it their experience. My mom even called me to say my dad really enjoyed the church and the couple. I prayed for God to be blessing and He did more than I even imagined. I never cease to be amazed by God and all that He does. So today was indeed a good day.

♥ A.Erika ♥