Lessons Learned from 2012 [Part II]

Heyyyy! I hope your Christmas and rest of the holiday has been a blast for ya! I'm back for Part II of my Lessons Learned series. If you missed part I, you can read it here. Let's get into it...

• Life is TOO short - I am thankful to make it this far, knowing that some people didn't. From musicians to classmates to wee little first graders, their presence will definitely be missed and their memories will last for a lifetime. I found myself questioning God like why those babies or this person? But then I realized that they have served their purpose on Earth. Also, to use their lives as inspiration to get my life together. I know I take things for granted but I'm learning to prioritize what's important to me. Saying 'I Love You', having ladies night with my friends, spending an entire day with my little brother, Sunday movie trips with the family, reconnecting to old friends and distant family. When it's all said and done, you cant take those material stuff with you. Spend LESS time with 'things' and MORE time with loved ones.
• Receive Love - Sometimes I feel that we block good things that come to us because we do not consider ourselves worthy. I realized if you do not create a space to receive something, it's VERY difficult to receive it, if you do at all. This year I learned to receive my little brother's love. He's very expressive and that came across as overwhelming to me. But that was an internal issue I had to deal with. Who doesnt want to feel genuine care and affection from their siblings? I had to check myself and learn to embrace it because everyone is not as fortunate to have a close and endearing relationship with their siblings.
• Work on Self - Ms. Houston (RIP) said it best, that the greatest love of all is love yourself. With loving yourself, you identify things that hinder you from being your best self. For example, I had to learn to forgive people who hurt me. I've heard forgiveness is for YOU not for the person that wronged you. That is oh so true. Forgiveness is a process but each day I'm trying to forgive. And it's liberating to be completely free from someone who wronged you. One of the best feelings in the world. Additionally, as I'm working on myself, I learned to change my mentality. Have a more positive and encouraging outlook on life. It's amazing when you start to thinking more positively about life, your actions will reflect that. Let this quote marinate: “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
• Give - The more you give, the more you receive. Whether it be time, money, love, ideas, etc. Picture this: If your hands are full with something, it's difficult to receive anything. It also feels good to give. 

These are my biggest lessons for 2012! What a year it's been! Like always, I am forever grateful for the lessons learned, experiences made, and the unexpected changes that shaped my life. As I am setting my goals for 2013, I have great expectations for this new year. Many things I have planned and can't wait to share. Be safe to all that's going out for NYE. Catch y'all in the new year! Much love!

♥ A.Erika ♥  

Lessons Learned from 2012 [Part I]

I've never done this but I felt compelled to write about the lessons I've learned this year. It's going to be a 2 part series because expanding on each lesson could be an entry within itself. And I don't want you all to read essays for an entry. Here's my list:

• Pour (Invest) into your life what you want to come out - I learned that if you continue to pour/feed/invest into your dreams, they will come true. This year I received my FIRST (of many) jobs in social media. It felt so good, and still feels good, to finally start my career in my passion. My dream of a career in social media started way before I got this job. Actually, I finally realized it in June 2011. Actually I realized it before but in June is when I actually said I would be serious about it. I worked hard. Connected with people who wanted to meet with me. Had informational interviews with people I admired. READ and READ and READ until I fell asleep on my computer about social media and how it's used for business practices. Went to social media events (even by myself) to meet people and network. Shadowed some social media professionals while they worked. I wanted it THAT bad. Finally a year later my dream came true. When you work hard, you will be rewarded. Not necessarily immediately but in due time. A career in social media is what I wanted so I poured into my life the things that would help me get there. Where do you want to go? What do you want to achieve? What are you pouring into your life to get THE life you want?
• Be careful of WHO you allow in your space - Some people are just not good for you. Not that they are a bad person but not right for you.  Develop a discerning spirit. You are indirectly affected by the company you keep. The results of their actions could change your life forever. Know what your boundaries are and what lines you cannot cross. Don't be afraid to end a toxic friendship/relationship because of future's unknown. The future may hold something much better if you just release that person is not for you. Remember zero is greater than negative one (0 > -1). 
• LISTEN to God - I learned this lesson the hard way recently. When He speaks (if He speaks to you), PLEASE listen. Don't ever think you can convince God after He's made His decision. Remember He created heaven and earth. I'm pretty sure He knows what He's talking about. Doing the opposite of what He says is blatant disrespect. He speaks to us all, believe or not. People call it your intuition, I (and most Christians) call it Him speaking the through the Holy Spirit. (If you have questions about God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, let me know.) Take heed to that funny/uncomfortable you get. That is your protection. When you ignore it, that's when emotional pain comes, because you were ignored the protection. Most situations that cause the most pain are emotional but there are ALWAYS warning signs. We tend to ignore them though. Save yourself the pain because like my friend said, "it is ALWAYS the things you can't touch that can hurt you the most and the hardest to heal". And if you can make the decision, difficult as it may be, to be protected, why not make the right choice? 

I kinda lied about it being an essay. I hope you made it through. Woo those were some intense lessons to learn this year but I know that it's all a part of my process to be great and be the best me for me. What lessons have you all learned this year?

♥ A.Erika ♥  

my scare

I had scare recently and made me evaluate my whole life.

My mom called me one day saying her mammogram results came back irregular and had to get further testing. Waittt whatttt? Messed me up for the whole day. I couldn't focus for the rest of the day. See my mom is my ROCK. But to be real, I don't always treat her the way I should. Because you know mom is ALWAYS going to be here. Or at least that's my thought process. But the thought of her developing a life-threatening disease got my attention loud and clear. This past Monday she had her follow-up testing so I made sure that I was there for her. I couldn't allow her to face something like that alone. Because she is ALWAYS there for me.

And thank God, everything is fine but it made me realize that you cannot take people for granted. Let people know how you feel while they are still here. Good or bad. Because you NEVER know when it will be time for them to check out. You don't want to hold in/back feelings that should have been said weeks, months, years ago. Say what you have to say and release it.

Even though she gets on my nerves, that's still my mom and I'm glad she's still with me.

♥ A.Erika ♥ 

What do you want?

A question I have been asked very often as of recently. Sometimes its the most difficult question to answer. Like I struggle with answering it. Especially when it comes to expressing my feelings while in a relationship/situationship/dating. The fear of admitting what I want. Because in my mind, if I admit what I want and doesn't meet my expectation, I feel disappointed. So I suppress what I want. It's weird.

But I'm working to change that. Because a) if I do not truly admit what I want, I dont think I will truly be happy; b)knowing what you want helps you to set standards.

♥ A.Erika ♥ 

but God.

Talking about speaking it into existence.*Second paragraph, first couple sentences* I felt a shift coming in my life, not exactly sure when but I knew it was coming. It started with a call from my mom saying that one of her co-workers' husband was looking for a social media coordinator. ^_^. That was sign that I knew something was up. I sent in my application. That same day I scheduled an interview. First interview went well and was called back for a second interview. The Monday before the second interview I was tipped off that I would be laid off from my then current job. Didnt let that distract me from my second interview.

My second interview came with great difficulty. I left my house 1.5 hr before my interview. Traffic was EVERYWHERE! Interstates, backroads, side streets. I broke down because I thought I was late for my interview at 9. I had to call mama lindo so she could soothe and calm me down. Finally get to the interview, thinking I was late. Only to realize my interview was scheduled for 30 minutes later than the original appointment. But God. I even double checked my e-mail, the interview was supposed to be a 9am, instead of 9:30a. But God. Second interview went well and I waited to hear back from them.

The Monday after the second interview, I got laid off from the job I talked about here. I cried because it hurt my feelings. The next day I decided I was going to go to Digital Atlanta so I could learn more about my passion, social media. That same day, my dream came true and I got a call that I would be the new social media coordinator for the company I interviewed for.

When I tell you God is good!! I have been grindin at this thang for about 2 years and never gave up. Even when I was about to. Even when I was about to sign up for the military and the police academy. My spirit could take that decision. First time I experienced the Holy Spirit like that night I was completing my application to police academy. I told God that I was trusting Him with my dream and that I hoped what He wanted is what I wanted. That my plans aligned with His plans. So its said, so its done. I just completed my first week and what an amazing experience it's been. I saw this on twitter and it pretty much sums up how I feel: They say once you love what you do, you'll never work another day in your life. One of the highlights...seeing Esperanza Spalding and Terri Lyne Carrington play live! These are the leading ladies of jazz and I got to see them for free in an amazing venue, that I happen to work for. Talk about blessings that I dont have enough room to store. God is that great!

Just believe and He got you!

♥ A.Erika ♥

Hello October.

Happy October to you all! It is officially autumn. I love saying autumn instead of fall. Fall sounds so...regular. Lol. Anyways, I am really looking forward to this change in seasons. Literally and figuratively. I feel a shift on its way and I am highly anticipating it.

Tuesday night/Wednesday early morning, I couldnt sleep. I was just up, reading my timeline. My TL has been very inspirational lately and it's definitely great because I will take that over excessive ratchetness.  One of my favorite writers/bloggers was reflecting on her journey to entrepreneurship, I was feeling inspired and decided to do the same. So this is straight from my TL...

 After the talk with @DANiBANANii_, journaling, now catching up with my TL, I am feeling inspired and ready for whatever is next. I'm learning its okay to expect GREAT things especially when I've been working hard the past 2 years. Networking, reading, studying, doing whatever is necessary to become the best ME I can. Proud to say that everything has worked together for my good. Even when I couldn't see the light, even when things didnt go according to MY plan, even when I questioned if I was going down the right path. I still knew something great is in store. Just keep grinding and the fruits of your labor will soon blossom. That's what I kept telling myself and now I see sweet fruit slowly blossoming. Now looking back I wouldn't change my journey because it built my character, forced me to take inventory and most of all love myself, flaws and all. Content? Yes. Comfortable? Not quite. But I'm slowly getting THERE and that's what matters. Life is a cross country race. Highs, lows, but persistence and endurance get you through.

I really had to stop and be thankful for where I am and where I'm going. Celebrate small victories while you conquer the war. That is my new motto. So to the last quarter of the 2012. I am so ready and I'm trying to go out of 2012 with a bang. Who is with me?

♥ A.Erika ♥

deadlines

As a designer, adhering to deadlines comes with the territory so one would think, my personal life would follow suit. But that's definitely not the case. Whenever I set deadlines for something, it seems I hardly get it done. Then I get upset and disappointed. But I fail to realize how busy I really am. With work, church, AIGA, family, friends, freelance work, etc, time seems to slip away. My day starts between 7a-7:30a and I often don't get home until 9:30 (ish)pm. Then I HAVE to entertain my family. If I dont, it's a "subtle" issue. Sometimes I really don't feel like talking to anyone when I get home, but I take my moment in the car to get my energy together and walk in. Yes, gather energy, because if you follow me on twitter, you already know how LIVE my house is on a regular basis. Then foolin with my family means midnight comes around quicker than I can blink my eye. I say that all, not as an excuse, but realizing that while I have these ambitious goals for my blog, I have to be realistic. So my blog launch date is TBA. Launching sooner than later.

But GUESS WHAT?! www.ashleelindo.com is LIVE! Y'all check out. It just hosts my portfolio for now but as I'm learning HTML and CSS, I hope to create my site that reflects my brand and my portfolio will be one of the menu options on my site. Next step: get Google Analytics because my site comes up on the SECOND page of google search when I search my name. Other than that, I have a few projects that I can't wait to share so I'm working and staying busy!

Much love,

♥ A.Erika ♥

expectations

I think one of my biggest problems is that I expect too much from people. I expect and forget people are human. Humans disappoint. We cant help it. There is something you will or will not do that fall short of that expectation. 

Or maybe the problem is my feelings get really hurt when people do not meet my expectations. 

Or maybe the problem is my expectations are too high for people who CANT meet my them. 

Either way it goes, I am learning to deal with my reactions to the unmet expectations. Not become as affected. It's difficult because I dont want to become numb to people. So I'm realizing there is a fine line to not caring and not being affected. I want to learn that latter because that comes with accepting the situation for what it is and not let it consume my thoughts. Responding rather than reacting. Difficult task but I know I can do it. Just time and prayer.

♥ A.Erika ♥

6 month hiatus.

Photo shoot sneak peek! Courtesy Sakeenah Saleem.

Oh hi there! If there is anybody out there and still following. Oh how I treat this blog like a red headed step child. But I'm here alive and kicking. I've been missing this outlet. Soooooo many things have happened since the last entry. It would take multiple entries to catch up on everything. The funny thing is I have fully written posts in the drafts ready to be posted but I never posted them. SMH.

But I will hit the big updates in short form. I am in the job market looking for a new opportunity, in marketing and/or social media and/or graphic design. Link to portfolio and resume, can be found HERE. I would like to transition into a new role by October. I bought an iPhone. I just recently bought a new laptop so I'm thinking posts wont be as sporadic. Being without a laptop for over a year has been so rough. #majorfirstworldproblem. Speaking of blogging, I am launching my new blog by August 31, more details on that closer to the launch date. I have a new beau! Roster went from 1 to 2 to 3 and back to one in a matter of months. I took a break this summer from all most of the church responsibilities. I had my photoshoot and the pics came out GREAT! I created my vision board and finally wrote my mission statement. I have a new mentor! I love her and all the knowledge she is giving me. My life has been very full and this year is flying by. More posts to come about in further details about everything. But I'm learning to live in the moment and enjoy and take it one day at a time!

♥ A.Erika ♥

Perfection is a cancer.

As a child, I was under the impression if I do everything perfect, I would be successful or reap the best. Oh how I was wrong. I even stopped myself from doing things because I knew I wouldn't be perfect for it. SMH. I've realized perfection only leads to crazy thoughts, behaviors, and procrastination. Nobody can ever be perfect. We were created with flaws or in sin, however you want to say it. So don't allow perfection to stop you from doing what you want. I know I'm guilty of that. I'll say things like oh I have to wait until I get things in order or get myself together. Eff that. You have to just start sometimes and everything will come together. I was having a gchat convo with one of my friends regarding perfection. And she said, you know how many mediocre people are successful? Tons. And I had an aha-moment. I'm wasting time waiting on "perfect conditions" and other people starting with no plan are creating genius ideas. So I'm hanging up my perfectionist cape and start creating. I hope you all will too.

♥ A.Erika ♥

oh january!

If the year is anything like January, I'm not sure if I'll make it to June. I have been so busy with work and church. Not that it is a bad thing but I barely have time to collect my thoughts. Starting the year all over the place was not my intention. Havent even finished my vision board yet, at least my 2012 goals are set. (I will post in a separate entry). But I am grateful and thankful for these opportunities to become a better person, meet and build relationships with great people.

On lighter note, I currently have a roster (as my friend refers to them.) I thought that was so clever and figured I would refer to them as such on my blog. Having a roster was definitely not a part of my first quarter plan, much less my first month. But here I am. Trying not to become distracted yet still entertain them. Of course roster updates will come. I do know that the draft is closed until further notice so I hope you all will enjoy the current roster.

♥ A.Erika ♥

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!! I finally did a post on the new years day! Lol. I can't believe its 2012 already. 2011 has been an interesting year and I am glad I made it through! Thankful for the closed chapters, leaps of faith, lessons learned. They all gave me strength and directed me in the place I needed to be. Not to toot my horn, but I'm always so surprised by my progress every year. I'm like wow I'm really becoming a great woman. Lol. Even though I'm still flawed, I can't help but celebrate where I've come from and where I am now. I am so hyped about 2012. The first time in a while I have been so excited for the new year and new beginnings. So happy new year to you readers and wish nothing but great things for you this year!

♥ A.Erika ♥