bullied.

So my OMSA mama said this to me a long time ago: you are getting bullied in your own house and you should not allow that. I kinda brushed it off and now im starting to realize what she exactly meant. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Like I basically need to grow a pair of balls and speak up for myself. But then I feel like its a lost battle whenever I do. Ughhh I am just frustrated and I really would like God to show me the right direction. I feel much better today after talking with my cuzzo about the past, present and future. I just love that girl because she understands me and the struggle of being a daughter of Jamaican parents. It's tough life. Lol.

♥ A.Erika ♥ 

fresh off my trip.

Holas. I haven't shared what's been going lately, partly because I have been holding back on some entries because I wasn't sure how to get my point across. But I have just decided, its my blog and I can what I want to say. So imma just sayyyyyy it...sayyyyy it *humming ne-yo*

I just got back from a 10 day trip to see the BF. What started off as a surprise weekend trip turned into a planned 10 day trip with my boobie. Still lowkey upset he ruined the surprise. The day was finally here and I got so nervous. After all, it had been 4 months since our last meeting. And even though we talk every day, its different seeing each other in person. Of course that nervousness wore off as soon as I saw him. :-) I had a good time being on campus with no obligations. It was so funny seeing ppl because they had no idea I was coming so the reaction was like I can't believe ur here or my favorite was what are u doing here. As if I wasn't allowed back. Oh the kicker was ppl didn't know me and the bf were dating so that response was priceless as well.

Now I told myself, I was gonna hold my tears until after he dropped me off. Ehhh not so much. I shed about 3...yes just 3 tears leaving troy. Then we pulled up to my uncles house. He gave me this look and the tears started again...flowing like a river. After I finally got myself together, we said our last 'see-you-laters' and he was off. The feeling of uncertainty of when I'll see him next is what hurts me everytime. This cross country relationship is tough but its soo worth it.

I've postponed my three sixty five project because I wasn't as committed as I should have been. So I'm starting fresh on the 23rd. Maybe the BF will help me with ideas since he's a budding photographer.

I have decided to stay at my internship until I find a full time. Rather than just chill and wait, I might as well keep up my skills and continue to network. They even offered to help me with my web portfolio so I want to take advantage of that resource while its available. I might have an opportunity with Americorps. A new friend I met at the career fair I went to back in october has been really supportive and shared this opportunity with me. So I'm praying that this comes through because it will help jump start my philanthropic socialite lifestyle.

And that life thus far. I have more to write but i need sleep.

♥ A.Erika ♥ 

music, design and type.

I'm trying to do an aesthetically pleasing post at least once a month. Im often amazed at what designers can do..how they can take a concept and visually illustrate it. music, design, type. some of my favorite things...imagine all together...LOVE. I came across a video that utilized type and music. Typography is my favorite element of design...it can make or break a design. Im pretty good at memorizing typefaces too...yea imma type freak [as the BF says] but dont judge me. Anyways,  I loved  how the deisgner incorporate TYPE with different images of Brooklyn. The type was kerned and lead to my liking. Type + jay-z feat weezy = hello brooklyn starring one of my favorite typefaces, Akzidenz Grotesk, and the architecture of Brooklyn. Watch it here---> http://vimeo.com/10089801
Enjoy my loves!

♥ A.Erika ♥

commercial debut.

hey hey hey my loves!! This past month has been interesting...I went from just having an internship to having a total of 3 jobs. At first, I was overwhelmed at possibly working every day but I had to quickly reminded myself its what I had been praying for since july. Now that I have an income, I can fully divulge my attention to a full time search. I'm actually going to a sports and entertainment career fair on Thursday. All the major and minor sports teams in Atlanta will be there along with a couple of marketing firms. I was a little reserve about paying but my BFF said I really had nothing to lose so I am hoping to make some contacts and eventually get a job.

So last month I shot a commercial for the hospital's monthly campaign with Atlanta Health Experts. I played a cancer patient like timmy. [inside joke...LOL]. I didnt think I would make the cut but to my surprise last week I found out I had made my debut. A lady in the lunchroom said she saw me on TV. I was so confused, nervous even. But mama lindo has to remind me of my cameo. Since then people have called my mom ecstatic saying how happy they were to see me on TV. Its ironic that I have yet to see the commercial on TV. These past couple nights I have been exhausted and although the intent to try to see myself was there, I am still unsuccessful. I hope to see it soon. For those who dont live in atlanta, here you go. Enjoy!! =)


♥ A.Erika ♥

puts things into perspective.

saw another piece that i like. maybe sundays will be aesthetically pleasing day. and i got a PT job. YAY for income! :) orientation on tuesday, updates then.

♥ A.Erika ♥ 

manifesto

i havent done an aesthetically pleasing post in a while. i felt this is a way to bring this series back. how we should all live our lives. i need to get this printed and put on my wall for work!

♥ A.Erika ♥ 

mission statement.

A girl was just a lil emotional wednesday night. Today is a new day and im much better.Thats the thing about life...it has its ups and downs. And im learning that its ok to be down because it wont last always and it makes you appreciate high.

today i went to the crowned jewels [women's ministry] breakfast and as we signed in, we got a worksheet and it said "reaching you highest potential in hard times". I was like after the emotional week i've had, i def need this in my life. the speaker, Dr. Cage, spoke about the 5 P's: purpose, present, posture, plan, people. Im like wooo Lord you are tryna teach me something today. When she discussed plan, she said we need to develop a mission statement. Mission statement for companies are the ideals in which a companies is founded. It states the purpose of the company and helps to guide them when the get off track.

I then thought maybe this is what my life is missing...a mission statement. A statement that will state what i would like my legacy to be and serve as reference guide to the decisions I make. Everytime I make a decision, i should question it saying do this line up with my mission statement. Something that will keep me focused! So I know I talk alot about doing something and nvr quite finish but this is imperative that i complete. Maybe tomorrow since some of the major distractions will be gone.

this post is definitely more positive than the last one!

continue to live your life and one day we'll run this town...love my booskie! one of the greatest big bros a girl could ask for! :-)


♥ A.Erika ♥

slighly overwhelmed.

just a tid bit overwhelmed. maybe cuz the infamous aunt flo is in town, making me more emotional than usual. i doubt it.

one of my mom's cowkers son passed away on monday. Broncos WR. Standout athlete at South Carolina and South Cobb High School. I never met him but I felt like I knew him through various convos me and my mom had. I just dont why and guess i will nvr understand why he would do that to himself. reading various blogs & fb posts abt me showed he had a very promising future but he himself didnt see it.

my brother fractured his foot so that will change all of our lives for the next 6-8 weeks and hes struggling in his classes because of lack of effort on his part.

then this bishop eddie long allegations. i dont want to believe it, i really hope its not true.There is so much at stake and even if its not true, things will not be the same. I just say look at Michael Jackson...he never truly recovered from this. I really hope and pray his faith will see him through this trying time.

on top of that, I had an interview with VS and i think it went ok. i was one of the only candidates with no retail experience but the only one with a degree. so they call me on monday saying that they had trouble reaching my references. so i called my references and said that they had given me great recommendations. so orientation is trow and i have yet to hear back from VS. why go thru all that trouble if u werent gonna hire me in the first place.

im already dealing with my internal issues being 4 months after graduation and still no job with student loans to pay back. all of these issues are haunting me. im tryna keep the faith cuz at the end of the day, its all i have.

this is like my first sad post but i gotta be real. but know that im still smiling because it could be alot worse! on a lighter note, 3 months celebration trow!

♥ A.Erika ♥ 

[job fair] report

so this post is long overdue as so much has transpired since the last entry. the career fair[s] went well. i made some contacts with some recruiters so that was really good. i reconnected with my mentor last week. shes preggers with twins [both girls]. Me and the babays are kindred spirits! Lol. it was really good to update her on my life and get some inspiration from her. thats one thing i missed about her: she always kept me on track. she even did my hair and now im rocking a bob.
I started my internship last week and i am thoroughly enjoying it. i feel so official with my own workstation, equipped with a phone, desk accessories, and a computer. The first day I was already working on projects and by the end of the week, I was sending designs to clients. I started this big project yesterday that encompasses multiple designs. Today I finished the first phase of the project and the response was overwhelming. I was so humbled by all the positivity I received from my boss all the way to my fellow intern. I gotta keep up the good work! I spoke with my boss about my intentions and she was so happy about my eagerness to learn. Like i continue to say just give me a chance to prove it to you because i know i can.


♥ A.Erika ♥

three sixty five.

next week i start my internship and i cant wait to start. my own workstation with a phone and work email. first a workspace...next a office space. wishful thinking!
So im using this week to secure an income [hopefully...God willing]. Theres about 8 job fairs I researched and Im going to all of them. Low key nervous but high key excited to network and hopefully gain an income, something that wont interfere with the internship tho. Unless I get a job that will encompass my marketing interest. So pray for me!

Two days ago, i started my three sixty five project. i got the idea from one of my new favorite blogs, apricot tea. She decided to take a pic each day for a whole year. i was like oh im definitely jacking this idea since i love photography. thanks Ev´Yan. haha. i havent decided if imma do a monthly update or keep it as a surprise until 08/20/2011. but im really excited for this project.

[job fair] report at the end of the week. oh officially 2 months with the BF tomorrow ♥

♥ A.Erika ♥

vaca update.

im back im back im bacckkkkkkk! LOL. well i been back but i finally decided to post. the trip was much needed and exceeded my expectations. the drive was more than entertaining because our family finds humor in anything! we actually listened to the conservative radio show talking about gay marriage. It was so interesting how they disagreed with giving gays the right to marry like President Obama but not once did they say they agreed with him...and they call themselves Christians.

Anywho, we got to Philly later than expected so we couldnt explore and get cheesesteaks. I was a tad bit disappointed. There is nothing like an authentic philly steak...it is so delicious! The wedding was BEAUTIFUL! So nice to see a young couple genuinely in love! It made me fall in love with weddings all over again. I need my friends to start getting married! LOL. Here I am with my bros [yes i am the shortest].

We then made a surprise visit to NY for my cousin's bbq bashment! Apparently its the talk of the town cuz there were so many ppl there including my fam! it was like a mini fam reunion. Ppl i havent seen in years and ppl I have never met. There were even talks of a potential family reunion which I got really excited about because neither side of my families have had an official family reunion so just the talk of it allowed my mind to wander on the ways I can help plan.

As my family headed back home, I ventured upstate to see the BF! As the bus pulled into the lot, my heart started beating all fast and I got little butterflies. He was there waiting on me with umbrella in hand cuz I told him I couldnt get my hair wet. LOL. Hes so great! The week was fabulous. Movies, dinner, lots of hugging and forehead kisses [MY ABSOLUTE FAV!], bbqs, CcD, SPADES! Sunday came and I was not a happy camper. I was flying standby and that could be a post within itself but to keep it short, all the flights were full and I couldnt leave that day. So we actually got to visit a mutual friend, khaly, and my bff was staying there so it was double the treat. me and bff greeted each other like we hadnt seen each other in years haha. the BF even said that he didnt receive a greeting like that. lol. so i stayed at khaly's house to prevent the BF from driving so much. it was a sad day in NY state cuz my next time seeing him is TBA! sigh.

Visiting my loves made me realize how much I love my school. my qualms with the institution and its policies are often overruled by the friendships and relationships i have formed there. my inner circle with the exception of a couple all have ties to RPI. i wouldnt change it for the world. i truly have formed some great bonds with some great people. So i gotta try my darnest to make it for alumni weekend...i feel like its gonna be EPIC!

vaca update complete...now back to my regularly scheduled program.

♥ A.Erika ♥

blacked out.

yesterday i was really excited that i could complete my orientation, which meant i could start my internship very very soon. My body had something else in mind tho. I didnt complete orientation and ended up in the ER. They all kinds of tests but i was just fine. possibly a tad bit dehydrated. im kinda tired of being sick/going to the doctor. this whole being sick is for the birds.

wale and jcole in concert together in 3 weeks?! i must go but i dont know where that $20 is coming from. *sidebar: more about nothing came out today and it probally one of the best mixtapes ive ever heard. download it here.* but i gotta find it cuz i HAVE to go. this would mean i would complete my goal of seeing my rap trinity in concert before 2010 ends. i gotta find a sponsor.

we're having a mini family vaca this weekend. we out to philly and nyc. i am convinced NY will be always be my second home. i have so many ties there. but im excited for this adventure.

♥ A.Erika ♥

ambitious girl.

all my friends know how i feel about 3 certain rap/hip hop artists i have declared my rap trinity. i love them cuz not only is their flow is sick but i relate to them more than any other ppl in the game right now. wale, j.cole, drake. [in no particular order of favoritism] no matter what mood im in, hearing their music elevates my mood. One good thing about music / When it hits you feel no pain...

Anywho, 1/3 of rap trinity dropped a new song...or joint today called ambitious girl and i fell in love with him all over again. his ability to flow plus his play on words is one of the reasons hes apart of the rap trinity. Go to 2DopeBoys to hear this track. Its worth listening to! His mixtape drops august 3rd. #moreaboutnothing I had to listen to #themixtapeaboutnothing to prepare for the sequel.

and all is right in the world.

♥ A.Erika ♥

new and improved.

i decided to update my blog just a tad. Give it some character. My logo as the header. im not to sure about it because of the great amount of white space between the heading and posts. im still working it out.

♥ A.Erika ♥

the miseducation of [a.erika]

im at a crossroad in my life. being back home, living under my parents rules is confusing the hell out of me. for 4 years, i was able to come and go as i pleased because i was "on my own." now that i have graduated and returned to live with the parentals. no coming home at 7am, no leaving when i please. must respect the hands that feed me [literally]. that doesnt bother me at all when i want to do something for myself. its ok for me to hang with them late, spend money to buy expensive bras, travel with them to weddings but as soon as i want to do something that doesnt include them, there is a problem. i am finding a hard time to understand where they are coming from SOMETIMES. how do they expect me to learn if i cant make a decision for myself. oh i love how they say ur grown and u can do what you want. but the fact still remains u want me to do it ur way regardless. maybe i will only understand when i have kids and put in a similar situation but im just lost. im trying not to be selfish in my decision as im realizing that my decisions dont just affect myself. yet in this 22 year of living, arent supposed to be selfish. isnt that what my twenties is all about.idk but i feel like...

deep in my heart the answer, was in me and i made up my mind to define my destiny....

♥ A.Erika ♥

baby food diet.

yesterday was an interesting day for me. i had surgery for the first time: tonsillectomy. They were humongous. my doctor goes, "idk how you sleep comfortably with those large tonsils in your mouth. " Well damn [gucci voice].

Pretty quick procedure, not that i remember anything. but im resting and recovering with mama lindo taking care of me. im trying not to be difficult so she will let me go on my trip. i am praying that i feel at least 85% so she'll let me go. body dont fail me now!

im not feeling that bad, my throat just aches. i can only eating soft foods so i just told my mom to get me baby food. As the bf says, just channel my inner child and enjoy the baby food. *side eye* i'll try!

♥ A.Erika ♥

off the market.

so 6 months ago, i said "Guys come and go. Not gonna say I havent totally given up on them but I'm done with them for awhile. I'm chllin."

Fast forward to june, im singing a different tune. LOL. its interesting b/c my fam is making such a big deal abt it. its because this is the first guy i have brought home to meet the family. everybody is like ooooo look at her, shes just cant stop blushing. i am smitten.

i went home with him to long island to meet the family which was somewhat overwhelming cuz i met immediate AND extended family. it was really nice and everyone was so welcoming. im learning that long distance sucks but im learning to deal with it day by day.

hes a really really special guy and im excited to see what the future brings. ♥ babygirl is a happy woman. =D

♥ A.Erika ♥

life update.

yes i'm still alive. =). LOL. i know my life has been in an uproar since may. now with nothing really to do but apply to jobs and sleep, i'd figure i would blog. its only fair. LOL.

i am a proud alumna of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute...after much hard work, sweat, tears, late/all nighters, i have a dual degree. and they say it cant be done in 4 years, i beg to differ. my family showed up and showed out. im gonna say they were the loudest family at graduation. dinner was great and go to spend time with my loves.

the first weekend in may i got to see my bestie and of course good times. getting acquainted with her new campus for grad school...im so proud of her! kappa cruise weekend was crazy! the best cruise i've been to.
birthday was wonderful...oh em gee i couldnt stop laughing cuz my friends kept joking around. surprise at midnight and everybody who went out later made my bday one of the best birthdays ever.

now im home enjoying not having anything to do while still searching for jobs. tryna stay encouraged cuz this job market sucks but i know something is coming my way...

♥ A.Erika ♥

everything changes.

"If you just walked away/What could I really say?/And would it matter anyway?/It wouldn't change how you feel..."

Trying to get thru last set of finals of my undergrad career. But drake at syracuse and cruise on the hudson this weekend to relieve some stress....

one love.

yea this is hot! Found via kiss my black ads. Designed by Erika Iris Simmons [www.iri5.com]

where the f*** have i been?

Welllll i dont even know where to start. So much has happened since the last entry. New goals, new interests ;), new searches for the directions of my life. Life has been good. I cant really complain. So my life within the last month in no particular order....

Brotherly visits - The weekend of March 19th my buddy came to visit. Surprised much?!? It was so good to see him and catch up. We spoke for about 2 hours, reminiscing on the good ole days of RPI and our last spring break's shenanigans. Talking about all those adventures made me realize how much I have loved my college experience. It truly has been a blast!
The next weekend was great. My alpha men came back for the Black& Gold Ball. Those guys from OY have a special place in my heart. They have taken care of me since I stepped foot on this campus and I love them dearly. Friday night was great, chillin at the bar, bros treating us [girls], and a lil dancing at a house party. The picture to the left is probally my fav of the weekend. It shows BSA presidents from 2006 to present. Feel so honored to be apart of great history. Saturday night, the big EVENT was nice! i love getting dressed up. my booskie and I actually came to the ball together. The afterparty....no words and i'll leave at that. LOL

Spring Break - Worked. Slept. Minimal Work. A random roadtrip to bingo. Great times! Pretty much sums it up!

Figuring out my life - Yes I am second semester senior graduating on May 29, 2010 and have NO clue what im doing after. So my parents and I have been going back and forth as to what my post graduate plans are. They are pushing for the military and very adamant about it, while im not so sure about it. And this is when I have my mentor/mama intervention. It seems like I always speak with her before I make a somewhat major decisions and she brings it all into perspective. So now im considering the Peace Corps, working for the state and/or US Embassy. These opportunities will give me a chance to travel [the visit to Australia is looking a lil more closer than I thought]. So im kinda lost but i have ideas on where i wanna go.

Easter Weekend - The best since ive been at RPI. Friday night a friends 21st "easter egg hunt" turned into a game of charades and a discussion of kegeling. *stiff body* inside joke. LOL. :) Saturday my shooting star invited me to her lake house. It was so great to get away from campus. And great food and cocktails! Tres Leche Cake plus cranberry & vodka with lemon! oh em gee! SO GREAT!
Sunday was church! I have been so spoiled in atlanta to have a numerous amount of churches to go with ministries that leave me spiritually fulfilled. Here in upstate NY.....ehh no so much! So when I go to church, I always compare it to my churches back home and there is no comparison. So wherever I move, it is important for me to have a spiritually fulfilling church home where I see growth and growth within me. Then we decided to have easter day dinner...it was so CLUTCH. within 15 minutes, the itis SMACKED everyone. it was so great that we're doing part 2 in like 2 weeks. it was like a little family and i felt like i was back home.

Two awards - So I received Who's Who Among Student in American Universities and Colleges. Very happy about that...one of 65 students selected from RPI. And thennnnnnnnn....I received an invitation to join the prestigious leadership honor society, Phalanx. The highest leadership award given to RPI students. Since I found out about this award, it was one of my dreams to be inducted. So when I got my letter, I hugged the girl who gave to me, good thing I kinda knew her already. LOL. But the "tapping" [induction] ceremony is this Sunday and I am so excited! Cant wait to join the ranks of the RPI's superior leaders. =)

April the month of Natually Inspiration - So I decided for the month of April, i will not straighten my hair. Tryna be in tuned with my natural state. I want something new! Ive been wild with it too...big curly fros. LOL. Channeling my inner erykah badu/india arie state of mind.Here I am. LOVE it! I am not my hair!

So life has been good! And april is getting better day by day. ;) 2 roadtrips within 2 weeks. Seeing my big sis/bff 6 days before my bday. Hosting for OMSA awards. The events keep rolling in!! =)

♥ A.Erika ♥

hiatus [effective 02.01.2010]

Hiatus not from blog, although it may seem that way. But hiatus from partying wilding out at social activities. Although I've been cheating a lil bit, this hiatus has given me time to think about what going on in my life.

January was probally THE most trying month of my life. I probally lost like 12 lbs in 3 weeks due to stress. Being so uneasy that I couldnt sleep at night. Yea it was that bad! But at the end of it all, I was still able to give thanks and praise my Lord and Savior because without His love and guidance, I would not be here. All that I went through made realize that I cannot get through life without Him. He proved to me that while man has given up on me, He is still in control of everything. And I am thankful for that because if it was for man, I would not be lying in my bed in Troy writing this post.

So as this hiatus continues, I will continue to lay low and reflect on my life, both present and future. Getting together my post graduation plans are stressful within itself, not to mention plans for graduation plus schoolwork plus presidency/RA-ing. Yes I am overly involved. But I am keeping everything in perspective.

So I'm back, I promise.

♥ A.Erika ♥

happy [belated belated] new year

Happy new year! Belated I know. I tried to make it up with this new years photo of Australia ANNDDDD new layout. Gooodnesss!! I cant wait to visit this place and chill with the aborigines. LOL.

But I decided to take a break from blogging to do some reevaluating. I spent alot of my break thinking about myself and the future. I am the type of person who likes to know the result before something ends so I prepare myself. But thats not how life works and i think this is where my problem lies as I'm thinking about my future. I feel like if I was so driven [as many people say I am], I would not be confused and losing sleep about my future. I need to stop worrying about what others think so much and make my decisions based on whats good for me. So i'm slowing developing "back-up plans and not putting all my eggs in one basket" [as my daddy says]

Since this is my first post of new year, it would be fit to post my new years resolutions. But to be honest, I really dont have any....well theres only 2 that i would like to share. The first being is getting reconnected to God. I admit that my relationship with God has definitely faded since I went to school. Being home brings everything into perspective and I have realized that if I want to succeed, I need God by my side because He is the only one who can make a way out of no way. So getting back in good grace with my Lord is TOP priority.

My second resolution could be broken down into multiple resolutions but I like to keep things nice and simple. Too many complications makes my head hurt. But just to take care myself physically and emotionally. Physically....drink more water, take my vitamins, create a workout schedule, get at least 6 hours of sleep. Emotionally...journal more, have more me time. Ive realized I give too much and people take advantage of that because they know i'll always be there, as a result, not enough me time.

So to 2010, I must come out better than what I went in. Welcome 2010! :-)

♥ A.Erika ♥